Interpreting Golf Terminology – A Thankless Task

If someone came back from the golf course and told you that they had “chunked an approach that left them having to take a Mulligan, and then ended up on the apron, before lipping out and relying on a come-backer to save par”, you would be entirely within your rights to assume that they had spent too long at the 19th Hole. But the actual fact is that they would be describing something that happens every so often to most golfers. They would be couching it in dense terminology and making it almost impossible to understand for anyone but other golfers, but they would not be lying or, necessarily, drunk.

To “chunk” a shot is to drive your club into the ground before, or in (accidental) lieu of hitting the ball. Coming from the sound that such an impact makes, it is something horribly familiar to a great many golfers. And it could lead to a Mulligan, which is a replay of the shot without any stroke being counted. This is not allowed in competition golf, but is allowed to pass in most casual rounds. From your Mulligan, could you end up on an apron? You certainly could. Assuming you were aiming for the green, if you ended up on the slightly rougher patch of grass around it, that’s exactly where you would have ended up.

From such a position there would be two options. Firstly your sober friend could try to chip the ball from the “apron” towards the hole, or secondly they could attempt a putt. If the ball rolled around the outside of the hole and stayed out, this is described as “lipping out” – from where the ball can go anywhere, sometimes heart breakingly a few feet past. When the ball rolls past the hole, you must rely on a putt coming back the other way – or, as the terminology has it, a “comebacker”.

There are a great many other golf terms which may be considered impenetrable and arcane to the uninitiated. The best advice that one could possibly pass on to a novice trying to get a handle on the terminology for the sake of a relationship is to watch with a notepad and learn as you go along with some help from the Internet.

Watch The Birdie? No, Wait, Was That An Eagle?

Watching golf can be a very confusing way to spend time if you are a novice to the sport. Like any sport, it has its own scoring system, but that is a little idiosyncratic in itself. Then there is the way the players dress, which in some cases is enough to confuse anyone in possession of a working pair of eyes. But perhaps the most confusing element of watching a game of golf is the seemingly arcane terminology used to refer to different elements of the game. This can make the whole sport seem like some sort of prank being played on an unsuspecting novice. So maybe some of the terms need to be explained better.

Firstly, what is with those terms used in the scoring system? Well, “par” had been used for anything that was considered an acceptable standard for years before its application in golf. So in this respect, it was a new application of existing terminology. But why “Bogey” for a bad score? Well, the story goes that a song of the late 19th Century had the lyric “I’m the Bogey Man, catch me if you can”. This led to people seeing the “bogey” on the golf course as something to be aimed for – and among amateurs, who still tend to play off a handicap, it still is. But the term was used interchangeably with “par” for many years, only adopting its current meaning in the early 20th Century.

As for “birdie”, this comes from further back than “bogey”. Early in the 19th Century, the word “bird” was used in much the same way as people nowadays would say “cool” – something that really stands out and impresses. Playing a hole in one shot fewer than is expected – now that is cool, surely? Hence the term “birdie” came to be used in reference to people doing just that. So why an “eagle” for someone playing a hole in two shots less than the par? Well, it’s obvious, is it not? It’s a kind of birdie, but it is bigger. And as you may have guessed, the use of the term “albatross” to describe playing a Par 5 hole in two shots is simply a continuation on that theme.

So, Having Minus Points … That’s Good?

If you have never followed golf before, or if you are explaining it to someone who never has, the weird and wonderful world of golf scoring makes for an interesting way to spend a bit of time. In so much of life, we look to have positive numbers. Minus ten degrees is really cold, while plus sixty is nice and mild. On your bank statement, you never want to see a minus and if you do, the number next to it had better be pretty small. We even assign the words “positive” and “negative” where numbers are concerned, and nothing can be more prejudicial than that, right?

So to have a sport where you actively set out to record as low a score as possible will always be confusing for some. It makes perfect sense to the golfer and the golf enthusiast, though. Indeed, it helps to think of golf as a race of sorts – a race between men in ill-designed knitwear and slacks rather than lycra, but a race nonetheless. When you’re watching athletics, you know it’s been a good race if the numbers next to the winner’s name are low. Although if, as in golf, those numbers are in the negative then maybe it’s time for drugs tests all around.

The thing to keep in mind with golf is that you have a set number of shots which is judged as a fair limit in which to get around the course, called a par. On an eighteen-hole course this will almost always be between seventy and seventy two. The ideal is to get a score that is less than this – to get around the course in, for example, sixty eight shots. If you hit 68 on a course with a par of 72, then you have recorded a score of four under par, which is recorded on your score card as –4. In a professional tournament, there may be as many – indeed there usually will be as many – as four rounds. So for a competition around a par 72 course, the competition par will be 288, and the winner will always be the person with the lowest score.